Go Away

"This poem is from a sequence of pieces about growing up in Prestwich just outside, what was at the time, the largest asylum in Europe where casual madness was the everyday"

Bring me a spoon
So that I can eat this can of worms
Bring me a spoon I said
But no one did
They read my doodles
They brought me needles
They said I was over the moon
They said I was completely unacceptable
They said I was not needed around
They said go away
So I went away

Then I went away
I spent more time on my own
I listened to ramblings
I listened to rantings
My room was very very small
My room had no more room to think
I went back to see them
They said to go away again

I went away again
I holed up in my room
Walls constantly crowded in
I had to beat them back
I had to go outside to think
Outside was always wet
My shoes were always made of holes
My jacket was thinner than the rain
Thinking outside was a difficult experience
Talking outside was impossible
Long and detailed conversations
Whoever I imagined would listen
Every ethereal passing stranger
That dresses in a white coat

Away equals confusion
I was right
They were wrong
So utterly wrong
They came to get me
They came to me with crayons
They ignored me
They left me a can
The can had a picture on it
Its content were worms
I called for an opener
But no one came
I ate the crayons

I learnt yelling
It wasn't a difficult language
The louder I yelled
Yell
Yell
Yell
The more people turned my way
I yelled them to sleep
I stopped yelling
They said go away